7 ways to get over your fears and feelings of inadequacy to successfully network – and get new business and opportunities.
I recently launched HERA – Her Advantage as I saw how badly we are letting down female graduates.
How can you spend £50,00 on training and not end up with the skills and knowledge and opportunities to get where you want to get? How are graduates leaving university without the skills to network, promote themselves and create a personal brand? Things I can fix in less than a week!
In any other industry that would be woefully unacceptable and yet universities are allowed to dump graduates in just this position.
In their defence, it’s not much better for anyone else!
I see many newly qualified solicitors or accountants sent out into the world of networking expected to return with new business who don’t even know what an elevator pitch is let alone how to deliver one effectively so people want to buy from that company!
I thought I’d share how I help professionals to excel at networking to gain more business and the similarities to the process that I use for HERA and a success story, because let’s be honest we all like proof!
With the HERA delegates we have a 6 stage process we are walking them through so that they excel;
- Personal power.
- Communication.
- Support and mentoring.
- Personal branding.
- Practical support.
- And Goal achievement.
And this is no different to what I do for a business owner or their staff.
I have an organic whole attitude to growth for professionals, business leaders, teams and businesses and it ensures exceptional results fast. So let’s look at a key area for many and that is the ability to present yourself and or the company you represent effectively.
1. First of all, what is effective?
How many walk into a business exhibition, networking event or meeting and haven’t considered the ultimate outcome? And I don’t mean the “We want sales!” mantra that I often hear in early coaching sessions with new clients.
It’s more than that. What’s the vision, the goal? The ultimate outcome you want?
And when I mean that I mean in 3 parts;
You, Your Team/Stakeholders and your business/organisation.
Walking through the door with no destination is crazy. You could end up anywhere and assume it was going to deliver what you needed it to!
So why are you there?
What outcomes do you want?
For the amazing HERA delegate success story at the end of this article, I wanted them to experience networking; learn that they were good enough, learn they belonged (regardless of age or experience), that they did have something to contribute of worth and that it could further their career- it did all of these, but that’s because we expressed that outcome, planned for it, put mindset and skillset ahead of the vision and worked towards that outcome. See how important this stuff is to your business and your team?
2.Next is the personal power.
It’s interesting that confidence levels and the ability to communicate effectively have been proven consistently to deliver higher quality leads, higher profits and even higher salaries. Bringing your own personal power to your professional life does not mean you have to fit the mould of someone else. It means you learn to like, love and trust that who you are is enough. But to do that you’ve got to learn who you are and what you bring to the table and while our HERA delegate is beautifully embracing who they are (and admitting how scary that is!) many 10 or 20 years into their career still haven’t achieved this. And I’ve seen it thousands of times impact on professionals and business owners potential, their companies profits and even the opportunities that present themselves. If you need a hand. I’ve many options to overcome your lack of personal power, just ask here. I can fit most budgets and I’ve courses and books too.
3. Before you open your mouth many have made up their minds about you.
Now we all know about first impressions and we may have moved on from Johann Kaspar Lavater’s ideas that you can judge another on the shape of their nose or the closeness of their eyebrows to determine a person’s intelligence, kindness or perseverance and their suitability to work with your company, however it’s not just our clothes and hair style that dictates how you are interpreted.
It is a delicate conversation that I would only attempt in a confidential setting with people that know they can trust me to coach and mentor them, however I have told younger women not to wear a cardigan. Whether we like it or not unconscious bias plays it’s role and we have many perceptions of people that are embedded deep in our psyche waiting to be triggered.
Don’t fall into these traps, and consider what your outfit is saying about you?
As an example I won’t wear my beloved layers of bracelets when I’m networking as I know it can be off putting and a distraction to men. I have even altered the length of my skirt or the colour of my nails. This may sound unnecessary, but everything you present speaks before you do. If you want to stand out, that’s fine, but be mindful your face may not fit for some. And that’s okay too. (By owning your personal power you won’t mind that some don’t like you – and you aren’t right to work in some organisations.)
So own your personality and personal brand. What do you want to present to the world?
Vivacious? Disrupter? Contributor? Innovative? Energiser? Empower? Conscientious? Calm? Carer? That’s how you enter the room and it’s not just about your clothes and hair choice.
Your mindset will do the talking long before anyone notices your shoes!
What do you bring to the room?
4. Empowerment.
Of all the things I can bring to new networkers or those lacking in the skills to excel at networking. The belief in them tends to go ahead of me. As a business coach I absolutely believe in every Insider and coaching client. I have seen hundreds of thousands excel, overcome fears and perform at a higher standard. So I know what is possible, often long before my client or Insider does!
The Pygmalion effect is a fascinating theory and whether it’s rooted in placebo or evidence based is fascinating – and it works!
Studies have shown again and again the implications of believing in people. For instance when students had been mismarked on their grades one class was taught according to a framework where they were assumed to be not that bright and the wrong class was taught as if they were the top set. What happened fascinated everyone (and was kept quiet for years!) because those that thought they had a lower IQ (even though they had the highest!) performed worse where as those that were from lower sets performed at a far higher standard!
And if that doesn’t make you say wow. What about how The Pygmalion effect impacts on AI…
“Just as when directing humans, having high expectations when directing AI may achieve better outputs. This isn’t because the algorithm interprets our high expectations and works harder to meet them (the technology isn’t quite that advanced yet!). Instead, our willingness to believe in machine learning will encourage us to use it more effectively. For example, when consulting generative AI with a task, we might devote more time and energy to crafting the perfect prompt, guiding the software toward generating the perfect response. Meanwhile, if we dismiss AI as a pointless technology, we may treat it as such, only offering a few words to guide its operations. And unfortunately, the resulting product will be the same quality that we expect.” Source click here.
Just remember the opposite can be true too, so if you are responsible for a team, assuming they will fail or are not equipped to handle the situation and they will meet the remit of your belief!
5. Mindset without skill set will fail.
And I see this far too often. Young professionals sent out to bring in the business who have been given the “Be yourself” talk or professionals with long careers in the city who now own their own business who haven’t learnt networking skills and expect to rock up and speak as they would anywhere else.
It’s essential to remember that networking is a skill. In no other environment do you walk up to strangers and expect to hold their attention without prior permission to do so. Networking is a skill. It is not a monologue as many of us have experienced and those monologuers do nothing for their personal brand or being remembered in a positive light (one of the first things a successful networker is looking to achieve!)
For our HERA success story below I taught them some key questions to ask to start conversations going without relying on the “What do you do?” or “Did you travel from far?” tedium.
Knowing when to ask open questions, when to asked closed ones and how to divert the conversation back to your own agenda are all skills I teach professionals. Practice phrases that would work for you and feel natural.
6.Practical support.
In anything I do for a client, Insider or HERA Delegate it’s about the tangible as well as the skill set and mindset and confidence. So in a practical respect, do your research. How long to get to the venue, where are you parking, who is the organiser, what can you discuss with the organiser (without taking up their precious time)? What would help the organisers?
Remember networking is about being remembered for all the right reasons and that includes the organisers. Taking a picture and tagging the networking company goes down well, a review is helpful and at the least a mention on LinkedIn is appreciated. For the nervous networker I recommend connecting with the organisers before hand.
A big shout out to Milo Dunne at Powered Up Business Networking for being the perfect networking host. I’ve hosted over 1800 networking events and will not tolerate clickiness or exclusion and yet I’ve experienced it only this month! You never know who is in the room or who someone knows so to treat them badly is not going to do your reputation any favours. Milo is one of the good ones who gets networking and I am grateful that he was there to metaphorically hold our HERA delegates hand to make this a positive experience.
If you are nervous, there’s nothing wrong with telling your organiser. I will always do my very best to ensure my networkers are comfortable and they always achieve more as a result.
7.The brand and the results.
Whether you are new to networking or an established professional I see so many fail at this and that’s the results. I hear things like “Well networking isn’t a sprint it’s a marathon” or “Well you never know with networking do you?” Trust me, with me you do!
I can get new business from a networking event I’ve never attended before. And that is down to a number of key factors many fail to contro;
1. What do you look like online? You must match the brand, image, communication and expectations of what you presented at the networking event, if you don’t you place doubt in their minds and they are less likely to connect, let alone be ready to trust you or buy from you.
2. How do you follow up? If you want the business, don’t wait for them to email you! Phone them. Business cards have telephone numbers on them for a reason! Do you want the work or not? Do you want the growth or not? Do you want the opportunity or not? If someone says they want to join the INsiders and then don’t follow the simple instruction of emailing me then I know they are not ready. We don’t want people that sit back and expect sales to land in their laps. We want INsiders who want to make the impossible possible and make sales where none existed! If someone is not self motivated enough to do what they said they’d do then are they really ready to grow their business? What does your follow up say about you? Is it proactive or reactionary?
And lastly here’s the proof from this amazing young professional who is going places, fast that HERA Works!
“I recently attended my first networking event that Mandie at HERA helped me get involved in.
Not only was it my first networking event, but I was also initially very aware that I was going to be the youngest person there by a long shot. This definitely did not help my nerves… But Mandie not only helped me to clear my head and calm my nerves, but also connected me with the event organiser leading up to the event. In this way, I wasn’t walking in alone, I had at least one face I could recognise.
This experience has definitely boosted my confidence when it comes to the idea of attending networking events like this in the future and I’m extremely grateful.”
We’ve more news on this amazing graduate coming soon. If you would like a graduate in your business who can get 300,000 likes on a Tik tok, yes 300,000! And can get an unknown Korean rapper to 13,000 followers in weeks, we know just the new member of staff for your digital agency or marketing department!
